The rules from Rachael
Harrie’s Writers’ Platform-Building Campaign blog:
Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding
the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the
words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in
the word count.
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one
or more of these (I did all three, yeah me!):
·
end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also
included in the word count) · include the word "orange" in the story
· write in the same genre you normally write (women’s fiction for me!)
· make your story 200 words exactly!
Pulling Him In
Shadows crept across the
wall, projections of an uninvited visitor. She knew he was there, inching
closer to his desired place. Every day, she fought to keep this one corner of
her world private and make sure she didn’t get lost in all his needs. But she
understood the desire for comfort and security.
“You shouldn’t be here. We’ve
talked about this.”
No answer and no retreat.
Every woman in her life
offered advice, convinced they knew the best way to make him a better man.
Should she listen to them or trust her heart? Too often it had led her astray. The
man before abandoned her. He was always seeking something else, someone else, and
was never the man she needed him to be.
The visitor waited, patient
and determined. He looked at her. With no words, he said all she needed to
hear. The boy standing there couldn’t be blamed for the men who came before.
She owed him that much.
Her heart won. She pulled
back the covers, and her sweet son cuddled close. The smell of his
orange-scented shampoo and the sweet sounds of his snoring lulled her into a
much needed sleep, and everything faded.
*****
If you enjoyed my story, please vote for me (#169) here. And take some time to read some other wonderful flash fiction pieces.
48 comments:
So sweet. This happened to me last night, actually. Lol
Lovely :) I enjoyed your take on the challenge. You have a strong voice. Well done!
Miranda, Thanks. This happens to me every night, but I have all girls.
Ann, Thanks. The words made me want to go creepy, but I do write mainly women's fiction (and YA with a women's fiction vibe), so... I'll have to go creepy next time.
Excellent job!
The kiddos are only allowed in my bed if there's a storm. It's tough walking them back to their bed - but being a parent isn't easy.
Thanks, Jay!
An original and heart-warming response to the prompt...
Mish, Thanks. I'm heading over to read yours.
That was a sweet ending. I didn't see that coming at all. :)
Positively touching. Our boy used to do that. Now he raids the cereal at any given hour in the early morning. Nice one! :)
What a lovely piece - a scene the mother of a son (or grandson) can truly appreciate. Well done!
(BTW, I'm Susan from My Withershins. Don't let the Humpty Dumpty name fool you. For some reason Blogspot doesn't always let us Wordpress folks comment, so I'm using an old ID)
So touching! You certainly have my vote.
#109
Loved it. Mine are 11, 11 and nearly 14, but they still pile all over me on movie night. LOL
Melissa Maygrove
Campaign Entry #149
Loved that it was her little boy that wanted to draw near to her! Definitely pulled on my heartstrings.
#160
What a sweet, cute story. God willing, someday I'll have kids before I'm too old and know what it feels like too.
Mine is #123.
Hi! I wanted to let you know you've moved on to the next round of judging! Great twist!
That was a very sweet scene.
Akoss, Thanks. I went with my heart.
David, My girls are getting older, but my six year old still sneaks in. :-)
Susan, Thanks.
Gwen, I appreciate the vote. I am going to spend some time reading flash fiction tonight and tomorrow.
Melissa, Sounds like you have a loving trio!
Stacy, Thanks.
Carrie-Anne, Sending hope your way.
Laurie, Wow. Thanks. You made my day!
Brenna, I appreciate that.
That's a lovely entry for the challenge. Well done.
That's a lovely story and one that so many parents can relate to, myself included. Well done. (#91)
So sad throughout with such a sweet ending! This was great!
Really nice! I need to give this short fiction genre a try.
Thanks everyone. I've been visiting entries this morning, and there are some great ones. I'm honored to be in great company!
I love this. Beautifully written. (I have all girls as well and yep - happens to me too!) Nice job!
Aww, so sweet. I love the part about his orange scented hair. I could relly get a sense of snuggling up with him...made me think of my kids.
Nice job!
Michelle :)
Aww, so sweet. I love the part about his orange scented hair. I could relly get a sense of snuggling up with him...made me think of my kids.
Nice job!
Michelle :)
Ainsley, Girls are sweet, aren't they? Thanks for the compliment!
Michelle, Aw, thanks.
Beautiful tribute to a son!
Hope you like mine #189
That was sweet. Mine is #71
Love this! Well done!
Mine is #131.
So many of us have been there :-)
Really heartwarming and touching. I'm # 61.
Really heartwarming and touching. I'm # 61.
Thanks. I'm hopping around trying to read everyone's entries. There are so many good ones!
So sweet! I love it!! I'm stopping by to say hello-- we're in the same campaign group!
Thanks, Su. Great to meet another campaigner. I'm still trying to get around to everyone. So many great participants this time!
This was so sweet Tia, perfect. Not only does it remind me of my son, but it also takes me back to when I was a child. I used to have terrible nightmares as a kid. Anyway, great job!
Elise, Thanks. That means a lot!
AWW. This was very sweet...the sweetness of the child just makes all the past relationships seem inferior.
Aww, so sweet. Love the closeness and warmth.
Thanks, Ashley & Deniz. I'm finally getting somewhat caught up on reading entires. Some amazing ones!
So sweet. A mother's love for her child, nothing is greater.
Thanks, Traci. Well said.
Sorry I am so late getting to you, but I loved your story, very moving!
Thanks, C.M.!
Interesting. I don't think I responded to that as well as the readers who are parents themselves, but thanks for sharing in the challenge!
Well done, Tia - concise, full of life and sweet the way it turns out to be her son. Very good!
Jenny @ Pearson Report
Co-Host of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.
Twitter: @AprilA2Z
Thanks so much, Jenny. I'm looking forward to my first A to Z challenge!
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