February 23, 2012

Pulling Him In: Campaign Flash Fiction Challenge

Time for the First Campaign challenge!

The rules from Rachael Harrie’s Writers’ Platform-Building Campaign blog:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these (I did all three, yeah me!):
·         end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)
·         include the word "orange" in the story
·         write in the same genre you normally write (women’s fiction for me!)
·         make your story 200 words exactly!

Pulling Him In

Shadows crept across the wall, projections of an uninvited visitor. She knew he was there, inching closer to his desired place. Every day, she fought to keep this one corner of her world private and make sure she didn’t get lost in all his needs. But she understood the desire for comfort and security.

“You shouldn’t be here. We’ve talked about this.” 

No answer and no retreat.

Every woman in her life offered advice, convinced they knew the best way to make him a better man. Should she listen to them or trust her heart? Too often it had led her astray. The man before abandoned her. He was always seeking something else, someone else, and was never the man she needed him to be.

The visitor waited, patient and determined. He looked at her. With no words, he said all she needed to hear. The boy standing there couldn’t be blamed for the men who came before. She owed him that much.

Her heart won. She pulled back the covers, and her sweet son cuddled close. The smell of his orange-scented shampoo and the sweet sounds of his snoring lulled her into a much needed sleep, and everything faded.

*****

If you enjoyed my story, please vote for me (#169) here. And take some time to read some other wonderful flash fiction pieces.

48 comments:

Miranda Hardy said...

So sweet. This happened to me last night, actually. Lol

Ann Cory said...

Lovely :) I enjoyed your take on the challenge. You have a strong voice. Well done!

Tia Bach said...

Miranda, Thanks. This happens to me every night, but I have all girls.

Ann, Thanks. The words made me want to go creepy, but I do write mainly women's fiction (and YA with a women's fiction vibe), so... I'll have to go creepy next time.

Jay Noel said...

Excellent job!

The kiddos are only allowed in my bed if there's a storm. It's tough walking them back to their bed - but being a parent isn't easy.

Tia Bach said...

Thanks, Jay!

MISH said...

An original and heart-warming response to the prompt...

Tia Bach said...

Mish, Thanks. I'm heading over to read yours.

akoss said...

That was a sweet ending. I didn't see that coming at all. :)

David P. King said...

Positively touching. Our boy used to do that. Now he raids the cereal at any given hour in the early morning. Nice one! :)

Humpty Dumpty said...

What a lovely piece - a scene the mother of a son (or grandson) can truly appreciate. Well done!

(BTW, I'm Susan from My Withershins. Don't let the Humpty Dumpty name fool you. For some reason Blogspot doesn't always let us Wordpress folks comment, so I'm using an old ID)

Gwen said...

So touching! You certainly have my vote.

#109

Melissa said...

Loved it. Mine are 11, 11 and nearly 14, but they still pile all over me on movie night. LOL

Melissa Maygrove
Campaign Entry #149

Stacy said...

Loved that it was her little boy that wanted to draw near to her! Definitely pulled on my heartstrings.
#160

Carrie-Anne said...

What a sweet, cute story. God willing, someday I'll have kids before I'm too old and know what it feels like too.

Mine is #123.

Laurie Dennison said...

Hi! I wanted to let you know you've moved on to the next round of judging! Great twist!

Brenna Braaten said...

That was a very sweet scene.

Tia Bach said...

Akoss, Thanks. I went with my heart.

David, My girls are getting older, but my six year old still sneaks in. :-)

Susan, Thanks.

Gwen, I appreciate the vote. I am going to spend some time reading flash fiction tonight and tomorrow.

Melissa, Sounds like you have a loving trio!

Stacy, Thanks.

Carrie-Anne, Sending hope your way.

Laurie, Wow. Thanks. You made my day!

Brenna, I appreciate that.

Lynda R Young said...

That's a lovely entry for the challenge. Well done.

Sally said...

That's a lovely story and one that so many parents can relate to, myself included. Well done. (#91)

digillette said...

So sad throughout with such a sweet ending! This was great!

Eloise C. said...

Really nice! I need to give this short fiction genre a try.

Tia Bach said...

Thanks everyone. I've been visiting entries this morning, and there are some great ones. I'm honored to be in great company!

Ainsley Shay said...

I love this. Beautifully written. (I have all girls as well and yep - happens to me too!) Nice job!

Michelle Pickett said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michelle Pickett said...

Aww, so sweet. I love the part about his orange scented hair. I could relly get a sense of snuggling up with him...made me think of my kids.

Nice job!

Michelle :)

Michelle Pickett said...

Aww, so sweet. I love the part about his orange scented hair. I could relly get a sense of snuggling up with him...made me think of my kids.

Nice job!

Michelle :)

Tia Bach said...

Ainsley, Girls are sweet, aren't they? Thanks for the compliment!

Michelle, Aw, thanks.

Jamie Dement (LadyJai) said...

Beautiful tribute to a son!

Hope you like mine #189

bridget said...

That was sweet. Mine is #71

Dawn Malone said...

Love this! Well done!
Mine is #131.

Sarah Pearson said...

So many of us have been there :-)

Christy Farmer said...

Really heartwarming and touching. I'm # 61.

Christy Farmer said...

Really heartwarming and touching. I'm # 61.

Tia Bach said...

Thanks. I'm hopping around trying to read everyone's entries. There are so many good ones!

Su said...

So sweet! I love it!! I'm stopping by to say hello-- we're in the same campaign group!

Tia Bach said...

Thanks, Su. Great to meet another campaigner. I'm still trying to get around to everyone. So many great participants this time!

Elise Fallson said...

This was so sweet Tia, perfect. Not only does it remind me of my son, but it also takes me back to when I was a child. I used to have terrible nightmares as a kid. Anyway, great job!

Tia Bach said...

Elise, Thanks. That means a lot!

Ashley Nixon said...

AWW. This was very sweet...the sweetness of the child just makes all the past relationships seem inferior.

Deniz Bevan said...

Aww, so sweet. Love the closeness and warmth.

Tia Bach said...

Thanks, Ashley & Deniz. I'm finally getting somewhat caught up on reading entires. Some amazing ones!

Traci Kenworth said...

So sweet. A mother's love for her child, nothing is greater.

Tia Bach said...

Thanks, Traci. Well said.

C.M.Brown said...

Sorry I am so late getting to you, but I loved your story, very moving!

Tia Bach said...

Thanks, C.M.!

kelworthfiles said...

Interesting. I don't think I responded to that as well as the readers who are parents themselves, but thanks for sharing in the challenge!

Pearson Report said...

Well done, Tia - concise, full of life and sweet the way it turns out to be her son. Very good!

Jenny @ Pearson Report
Co-Host of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.
Twitter: @AprilA2Z

Tia Bach said...

Thanks so much, Jenny. I'm looking forward to my first A to Z challenge!