September 7, 2011

Flash Fiction Challenge

Rachael Harries has given campaigners our first challenge. In short, our task was to create a 200 word fiction piece. For an extra challenge, we could start it with "the door swung open" and end with "the door swung short."

My first reaction was terror. I haven't written an assignment like this since writing classes. But the words came quickly. I hope you enjoy and leave a comment. Go easy on me!

Lady's Choice

The door swung open. The invitation was extended weeks ago, but she hesitated. Was she too old, too tired to give in to passion? What about the kids?
She smoothed her skirt, feeling the lumps that weren’t there twenty years ago. So much had changed, so many emotions closed away. Her marriage once so dear to her was now long dead. Too many tears.
Since she met him two weeks ago, needs began resurfacing—ones she thought she’d forever suppressed. She wanted to open herself up again, but it was all so raw.

There he was, standing at the window. His back was to her. She still had time to run, but the draw to him was greater than her fear. When was the last time she allowed herself pleasure, a bit of selfish indulgence?

Hand still on the door, she took in the scene. Champagne chilling, robes arranged on the couch, roses on the table. Then he turned. His blue eyes captivated her from their first meeting. Images of her husband and kids flooded her brain and heart. Yet her decision was clear.

She took one step, closed her eyes and made her decision. The door swung shut.

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

Laura says:
Love it! Wish there was more, as in 100 pages more!!! (:

Tara said...

Nicely done. Definitely left me wanting more - can she really go through with it...

Tia Bach said...

Thank you, ladies. You've both made my day. Can I be honest? I'd love to develop this, because right now, I'm not sure what she decides. ;-)

Lisa Carter said...

I'm always in awe of fiction writers and this flash piece is the perfect example why: pen hits page and story results. Wow! I love it... Keep writing?!

Tia Bach said...

Lisa, I know I'm tempted. Maybe a short story...

Thanks for stopping by and always being so encouraging.

Erin L. Schneider said...

So many emotions in so few words - you did an excellent job with this. Great job, Tia!

David Powers King said...

Fantastic scene you built here, Tia! Big fan of well-written description. Great job! :)

Jessica Therrien said...

Great story. Great description. Loved it!

MyTricksterGod said...

I'd like to see where this moral dilemma will take her and if such decided actions will follow her wherever she goes, effectively revealing herself through her guilt.
A very good, thought-provoking piece, though, in hearing all too much of "long marriages gone dull" it makes me afraid as I contemplate the future.
Is this a common thing to occur Tia? I should perhaps live like emily bronte for the rest of my life if that's the case.
But i seriously want to know where her psychology will take her after her decision.
thx for the show.

Tia Bach said...

Erin, David & Jessica - Wow, thanks! This story came out of nowhere (well, out of a prompted challenge, but I digress), and it's calling me to continue. Hmmm...

MrTricksterGod, I'm married 16 years, and as much in love as ever! My lady's husband is dead, and her marriage with it. It doesn't make the moving on any less difficult, I imagine. And I appreciate your comments.

Thanks again for the support!

Bethany Lopez said...

I loved it!

Kate @ Teaching What Is Good said...

Sweet! I love it too.

Tia Bach said...

Bethany & Kate, Thank you so much. I've never been so nervous to hit the publish button.

Jocelyn Rish said...

Lots of emotion in this piece! You can feel her anxiety, but also her excitement. Her nervousness, but her passion. Her feelings of melancholy, but also hope. Nice.

Madeleine said...

Oh wow that was excellent! Loved the way you introduce the hint of deeper back story and the emotions in such a short piece.

Sheri L. Swift said...

What a stir of emotions & decisions. ; )

bridgetstraub.com said...

Nice build on the tension. I enjoyed it. Mine is #72

Tia Bach said...

Thanks so much! I'm so glad the emotions I was feeling for the character came through. You guys are too kind!

Corinne said...

Tia,

This is fabulous! I can't believe this is your first Flash Fiction -- hopefully the first of many more to come. You've achieved so many images with so few words; you made every single solitary word count! Bravo.

Angelina C. Hansen said...

This is so rich. Great piece!

Tia Bach said...

Angelina, Thanks so much.

Maeve Frazier said...

So many emotions in this piece. It leaves me wanting to read more. You should develop this into a longer story. It would be a great read.

Alica McKenna Johnson said...

very nice

Tia Bach said...

Thanks so much, Maeve and Alica!

Tia Bach said...

Oops I missed you, Corinne. Thanks.

Claire said...

Wonderful description of a woman's indecision - pleased she made the jump! Thanks for commenting on mine(#347.

Tia Bach said...

Thanks, Claire. I'm just kicking myself that I didn't simply put "red roses" to be at 200. I realized today I was 199, don't know why I missed that. So close. Consider it red roses. ;-)

TirzahLaughs said...

Ah naughty woman.

Good description.


Tirz

Tia Bach said...

Thanks, Tirz!

Roy Station said...

Is it sex or do they think they are in love, what are his motives? I think you will have to develop this further now you have built an excellent platform. I definitely like.

Tia Bach said...

Roy, I think she needs sex first, love is less appealing to her right now. Thanks for liking!

Candy Fite said...

Great entry! I'm loving the possibilities for these two!

Tia Bach said...

Candy, Thanks so much for stopping by. I love the possibilities, too. ;-) Jumped over and read yours. I'll have to sleep with the lights on tonight. Great job!

F.E. Sewell said...

More, please! There's so much going on with the MC. I have to find out what happens!

Thanks for stopping by my blog, btw!

Tia Bach said...

Thanks so much, F.E. I feel very protective of her and want her choice to go well.