I don't consider my request strange, but year after year my husband scoffs at it, and I've yet to receive it. My simple request, the gift of delusion. Not to the degree I firmly believe I've been abducted by aliens and parts of my brain have been altered. No, just a mild case of delusion. The unshakable belief that I can do anything I set my mind to would suffice.
In my personal life, I could use this gift to cloud the lens of reality. My children and husband would be perfect, I would never be wrong, and my house would always be clean. Perfect, right? No, I wouldn't want to use delusion that way. Well, except for maybe the clean house part. There's nothing interesting about perfection. True love is loving someone despite his/her flaws, not in the absence of them. Who wouldn't love something that was perfect?
Some people seem to possess the gift of delusion and use it willy-nilly or for selfish or nefarious purposes. I want to specify that my gift of delusion could only be used for good, to create a shield to protect myself and those I love and to allow me the confidence to try new things.
Alas, it's a gift I'll have to give myself. Through hard work and perseverance, I hope to find greater confidence and acceptance instead of delusion. As far as shielding my family, I can't imagine something stronger than a mother's love.
Do you have a similarly difficult or strange gift request?
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What, you might ask, does this gift request have to do with my A Round of Words in 80 Days check in?
One, I need to work on my creative confidence. Two, my new novel concept is a challenge. I'm veering away from easier material to really stretch myself. Plus, my main character is suffering from a severe mental delusion, so I need to embrace the idea that people can convince themselves of anything.
That's pretty much my check in. A big struggle with my work. I am using the note card planning method, and it's helping. Still, I seem to end up with a lot of note cards with questions and research issues on them. Things like, "what would motivate a character to do xxx?" and the need to find a psychiatrist to talk to about true mental delusions. Not for me, for my character. Wait, I wonder if they'll believe that I'm a writer working on a piece. Hmmmm.
I'll admit to being overwhelmed by the season. As much as I love the holidays, I am juggling so many things right now. It took me two hours today to write our Christmas letter. Why? I wanted to stretch myself and write a poem using Twas the Night Before Christmas as a starting point. I like how it turned out, but it would have been so much easier to sign our names to a pretty card.
Other updates
Blogging: On goal for both blogs. Yeah! I've even pre-written some posts for my busier days this month. Still catching up on blog reading, but finding a better rhythm. Google Reader is overwhelming now that I'm following so many blogs. Any suggestions on how to manage it?
Miscellaneous: Just finished a wonderful book, review soon to follow (on Mom in Love with Fiction). Plus I joined the 2012 To Be Read (TBR) Pile Challenge. I'm looking forward to finally reading some great books I bought ages ago.
Exercise: Doing pretty well. I'm missing the warmer weather. It's so much easier to go for a run outside than to plan to go to the gym. Still avoiding sugar, but I have several events coming up where this will be a huge challenge.
Hope all my writer and reader friends are enjoying the craziness of the holiday season!
7 comments:
"that I can do anything I set my mind to" - Now how is that a delusion? You can. It might take you some time and effort but you can accomplish anything. You totally should post that poem too.
I have a strange secret wish that no one ever grants me, either - I was a superpower. A very specific superpower. I want ability to stop time for the world, yet navigate freely at will within the stopped sphere. I would get SO much done. I am tireless when uninterrupted. So, um - when you get yours, can you believe really hard that you can give me mine?
@Ryan - "unshakable belief" ;-) I believe you can do pretty much anything (I can't be 6 feet tall no matter how much I want to be) you set your mind to. I tell my children that everyday, but what a gift unshakable belief would be.
@Rant Rave Write - just popped over to your blog. Loved it! Especially love how much your son is anticipating Christmas. I know my girls are.
Thanks for stopping by! ROW80 support is wonderful!
Sure you can, just wear taller shoes. ;) There's always a way to achieve your goals. Just think outside the box.
Ryan, I love your attitude. Your comments are giving me hope that I can achieve anything, even without delusion.
Hard work is my middle name. ;-)
Plus, I love the idea of thinking outside the box. Sometimes limitations are something we create.
Thanks for coming back! ;-)
Ah, Tia, I can SO relate to your post. I am going far beyond my comfort zone by posting excerpts from my dusty file drawer--EEK.
I need a big measuring cup of Ryan's attitude--both believing in what I want to do, and thinking outside the box. Secretly, I think women are socialized out of that--more's the pity!
So here. As it is always easier to give confidence, here is your big overflowing 4 cup measuring cup of confidence. I've read your work, and I totally believe that you can do a bang-up job with your new venture.
Wow, Elizabeth. Thank you so much. Between you and Ryan this week, I'm getting pumped up!
Hope everyone is having a wonderfully crazy holiday season!
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