December 12, 2011

My Mind: The Gift I Lost

Today's NaBloPoMo prompt: What gift do you regret losing?

My mind. What a wonderful gift each of us is given. Yet, I lost mine. I know I had it before the first child, but my job was hiding it from me on occasion. By the second child, 20 months after the first, I was losing it for days at a time but usually found it before much damage was done.

My third child was born in April 2005. Three weeks later, my oldest child turned five. I'm pretty sure I still had my wits about me then. The rest is a fog. A fog of happiness, sleep deprivation, limited shower time, way too much McDonalds, liquids I don't care to ever experience again, etc.

Funny, I thought if I survived the crazy baby years I'd find my mind again. I'm constantly putting things in the spot that seems most logical at the time. Later, after lots of searching, I find it and remember my reasoning for placing it there. Surely, the same would be true of my mind.

Slight problem. Parenting only gets harder. Anything worth doing, and I truly believe this, is worth doing well. Same is true for parenting. In some ways, my children's needs have become more manageable. In other ways, my role has become harder. The mistakes I make are more glaring. They are old enough to see what I do, and not just do what I say. Darn it. It's so much easier to know what other people should be doing than yourself.

But, maybe it's all good. If I had too much of my mind firmly in place, I might be in a constant state of panic and terror. That wouldn't help anyone. Or, maybe I lost my pre-kid mind. The one that could only handle one task at a time and needed peace and quiet to do that. My new mind is one that functions even when pushed beyond all reason and sanity. One that deals with the person on the phone while pouring drinks and checking homework.

Still, if you find a mind that isn't yours, please let me know. It might be mine.

Don't forget to visit the 12 Days of Christmas Reading Gift List. Today is Day 3. Find out more about today's giveaway, Open Me by Reina Stone, here.


Julie Glover said...

After my firstborn came, I told my mom that the baby had sucked out my brain cells. She laughed. (Grannyhood seems to be an amusing role.) I asked if and when I would get my brain cells back. She replied I would have some returned...when the kids went to college. *sigh*

Now that I'm getting more sleep, it's better. But stuff still gets jumbled up in there. I think it's because I have so many more balls in the air.

Christine said...

I love this! My mind is definitely gone, also... how else do you explain intentionally having a toddler and a teenager at the same time?
Or maybe that's what did me in... ;)

Tia Bach said...

Julie & Christine. Thanks so much for stopping by! When I read the prompt, all I could think about was... I'm losing my mind. So I went with it. I think all parents understand. ;-)

Hope you are both enjoying the hoidays, craziness and all.

Unknown said...

I feel like I could have written this exact post!

Tia Bach said...

Melissa, Thanks for stopping by! I think most moms could write this post, but just might forget to. ;-)