Our first Whimsical Wednesday post is by Mom and co-author of Depression Cookies, Angela Silverthorne. We plan to have one Whimsical Wednesday a month, more if the spirit takes us.
I am disturbed.
I felt something wiry on my chin. I scratched. I rubbed. I pulled my lower lip up to my nose in one of those famous Gabby Hayes poses to get a better feel. Something definitely was on my chin.
Agitated, I got up from my work and went into the bathroom to examine the troubling area. #&*@, I couldn’t see a dang thing. So I went and got my no-line bifocals that are supposed to fool everyone. Truly … only old people think that. Since I’m on the lower end of aged, I can spot them from afar, without the specs. No one except bifocal or trifocal wearers can rearrange their head in such odd exorcist fashion unless they’re wearing them. Trust me, I’m a specs spotter.
Back to my chin story . . .
Oh my goodness . . . there it is . . . a hair . . . on my chinny chin chin! I turn so quickly I almost faint. Was anyone watching? Has anyone seen this disgusting thing? It’s worse than the black pepper or spinach leaves embedded between your front teeth. Do people just let you go around looking like a bigger fool than you are for their personal enjoyment? Do they hope the next guy will tell you because they don’t want to be embarrassed? Now I get it, it’s all about you. How could you let someone go about thinking they’re put together when they have something so disgusting flapping around their chin?
Well, my eyes are open. I just googled and found the fix. It’s a side mirror for glasses. Since I’m not interested in what’s behind me, I’m going to turn the mirrors down chin-level and keep a close eye on chin grooming.
And, the next time I see your chinny chin chin hair enjoying its ride, I’m not going to say a word. I’m just going to turn my niffy little invention in the direction of your chin and watch for the response. Don’t panic . . . I also found a neat chin hair comber, gel-dry, and scissor set. I won’t let you leave my presence without the ultimate in chin hair control. That’s what friends are for, you know.
And . . . if you want to order some buttons on chin hair awareness, I’ve located those, too.