Fate, Friends, & Family: Building Characters

Today's BlogHer NaBloPoMo prompt intrigued me: Talk about this quotation: "Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends."

Fate, if you believe in the force of predetermined events, chooses all. Where you end up living, who is in your class or work environment, who has a baby at the same time... so many fateful things determine your friends. Granted, you have the free will to walk away, to choose not to be someone's friend. But too often, in my humble opinion, people choose to walk away from their families, too.

As a writer, I'm intrigued by relationships. Discovering why people come together as friends or enemies is such an important component to building characters. Put a character in Hell, and they still need to find friends and enemies from the lot. Same for Heaven.

We all have friends who fulfill different needs. Friends we know can make us happy when we are sad, friends who can pick the best party dress, friends who will take your child even when they are puking, and friends who you can see once a year and love like family. We choose friends based on those needs in our lives.

Authors get to play the role of Fate. With any given choice, a character sets in motion a chain of events that affect every future outcome. Whatever path he/she chooses will bring with it more choices, different from any other path.

I'm not sure I believe in the idea that no matter what we do the outcome is predetermined. I'd like to think taking action and making choices gives you more power than the person who sits there and awaits Fate.

I don't think I'm going to figure out the answer to our control in one blog post. But as an author, I can put my characters through the ringer knowing all along where I want them to end up. I can edit and play with how they get there, but the there rarely changes.

All that to say, Fate plays a part in all our relationships. But, in the end, we choose the paths and who takes the journey with us. Or, at least I'd like to think so.

Do you believe we all have a predetermined path? As a writer, do you predetermine your characters' paths or let their choices lead you?

Reinvesting in my Goals: ROW80 Check In

Catching up is not easy. Life keeps coming at you with no regard for all the items building on the to-do list. I have 500 emails in one account and 9 pages of emails in another. All things I either need to get to, or would like to.

My January was not kind. I took a five-day vacation with girlfriends, something I've never done before, but it put me way behind. No problem, I thought at the time, I'll catch up. Life laughed as each one of my kids got Strep throat (plus Mom and Dad!) and then my baby girl was diagnosed with Lyme's disease. Still, I believed. Life laughed again.

I need a couple of days where I can get things done and no new responsibilities come in the door. Wait, now you are all laughing.

After weeks of being behind, I felt lost in a sea of what to do next. It was draining. Usually I'm high energy, bouncing around from one thing to another. But the last couple of days, I sat there staring at blank paper trying to prioritize everything I needed to do. The paper stayed blank.

Until a client did me the biggest favor. She was honest and kind when she asked if I needed to pass on any additional work. What a beautiful kick in the butt. No, I did not want to pass. First of all, I love her work! But I also hate letting life (or anything) get the better of me. I immediately responded and prioritized.

Sometimes all the running can't get you caught up, but that doesn't mean you should stop. I'm back to a nice jog, and I'm feeling less breathless.

My ROW80 Update

A Round of Words in 80 Days (ROW80) is "the writing challenge that knows you have a life." From the website: We are all different and we all have different demands on our time. Why should we all have the same goal? The simple answer is that we shouldn’t. If you want to be a writer, then you have to be able to roll with the punches and adapt to your changing circumstances. If that means changing your goals when your life blows up, so be it. ROW80 is the challenge that champions the marriage of writing and real life. (I had to include this because my mom asked me what the "Row-thingy" was.)

Writing: A lovely blogger (and my overfull brain is spacing on the name, but I'm SO thankful) suggested I reread my WIP to get back in the groove. I started that and am feeling it. I can't control the editor in me, but that will only make it better. I hope to get back to my test mile (500 words a day) soon. Joining #teamsprinty #ROW80 wordsprints (2pm EST) more regularly will help.

Blogging: Still daily. I need to back off and embrace other projects, but I can't seem to help myself. It feels wrong not to pop over and write a post. I've only posted once on Mom in Love with Fiction since Sunday, but I have a review in the works.

Social Media: I'm keeping up with it, but barely. I have to give it limited time right now, but I am keeping up with my ROW80 sponsor commitments.

Reading: At night as long as my eyes remain open. I may have to abandon The Book Thief for a bit to read a couple of books for reviews. I like The Book Thief, but it's not a fast read. I want to give it more than I have right now. Do you ever come upon books like that: a wonderful, deserving read that your brain just isn't quite ready for?

Editing: Rocked it today, over 30 pages edited total. Now I need to go back and make notes to send to one author and finish another project. I'm hoping my clients will forgive a rough January, especially when they see my commitment to kick it back into high gear.

Exercise: If only I could find a way to combine exercise and sleeping, I'd be golden! I did fit in a five mile walk (ran half of it) on Tuesday. Eating is horrible. I need to get it back under control. Why is fast food never healthy? My life needs fast right now.

I hope everyone is meeting their goals or reassessing them as necessary. Let me know how you are doing!

What We all Need is Some Reagan

Today is my middle daughter's 10th birthday. Reagan Dallas Bach is named after Ronald Reagan, more on that later, and my father, Dallas. She's my never-say-die, full of spunk, sweet daughter.

One of the coolest things about being a Mom is seeing your children become individuals. I thought my job as a parent was to mold, to help create who my child would be. Now, I know better. I can foster, but they sense any attempt at molding and avoid it with great effort.

Good thing my Reagan is a lovely individual.

What We Could all Learn from Reagan

Fearlessness - Reagan's never met a challenge she doesn't see as an opportunity. She embraces new things and tackles them in earnest.

Loving Yourself - Reagan owns who she is. When we moved to a new state in late 2010, Reagan came up to me and said, "Until I can find a new best friend, I'm going to be my own best friend." There was more wisdom in that sentence than I've had time to teach her.

Humor - When in doubt, crack a joke. Pretty much Reagan's philosophy. If a moment ever gets too serious, she finds a way to turn it around. It's a gift she gets from me through my father.

Embracing Fun - Never one to accept the boring or too heavy, Reagan can find fun anywhere. She loves to be outside and has an endless supply of energy. But if she's stuck indoors, she is the one entertaining her sisters and creating things to do.

Stubbornness - Yes, stubbornness can sometimes be your friend. I've always told my husband that peer pressure will never sway Reagan if she does NOT want to do something. But, Katie bar the door, if she does. I may have to embrace pink hair and tattoos in the near future!

Back to her name... my dad has always loved Ronald Reagan. After we named our first daughter Jacqueline, Dad asked if we were inspired by the Kennedys (not one of his favorite politic families). Ed and I never considered the Kennedy to connection to the name Jacqueline.

As soon as I found myself pregnant with my second baby, I told Dad we'd name a boy Ronald or a girl Reagan to make him happy. It was a joke, or started as one. But Reagan grew on us. So, of course, we had to give her my dad's name for her middle name.

I am proud every single day to call her my daughter.

What have you learned from your children?

Join the Campaign--Build Your Platform

Don't be scared off by the title. It has nothing to do with politics! Rachael Harrie holds a Writers' Platform-Building Campaign twice a year. I participated for the first time last fall. I learned so much from the participants and Rachael's challenges and couldn't wait for the next one. Now it's here!

Some information about the Campaign from Rach Writes: Basically, the Campaign is a way to link those of us in the writing community together with the aim of helping to build our online platforms. The Campaigners are all bloggers in a similar position, who genuinely want to pay it forward, make connections and friends within the writing community, and help build each others' online platforms while at the same time building theirs.

As the Campaign kicks off, you'll have the names and blog addresses of the Campaigners on my List of Campaigners page, so you can keep in touch with the other Campaigners. That way you’ll have a list of bloggers in the same position as you, who genuinely want to help you succeed. And you'll be able to meet those who have the most in common with you. You can visit their blogs and other places they haunt, follow along, leave comments galore, and share your highs and lows as you journey through the blogosphere and build your online platform. And they'll be doing the same for you.

Key Dates

* This Fourth Campaign will be a mini-Campaign, and will run from today until Saturday, March 17, 2012.
* The List of Campaigners will close on Wednesday, February 15th, so make sure you sign up before then.
* The First Campaigner Challenge will begin on Monday, February 20th and end on Saturday, February 25th.
* The Second Campaigner Challenge will begin on Monday, March 5th and end on Saturday, March 10th.

Organized Campaign Events

* I'll be running the two Campaigner Challenges I mentioned above.
* Each Friday I'll post a Campaigner Notice-Board, where you can announce blogfests, book launches, things you'd like to share with your other Campaigners, etc etc. You'll need to send me the information in advance, and I've made up a form to make things easier. If you want me to include your details in this Friday's post (February 10th), please fill out this form.
* There will be lots of Twitter-talk at #writecampaign, so make sure you jump in and take part to meet, get to know, and encourage your fellow Campaigners.

Let me know in the comments if you'll be joining the Campaign this year.

Crafting Characters: ROW80 Check In

A positive to writing a book with your mom... having plot and character discussions at places like Great Wolf Lodge while the kids play. Just in the last year or so, I've realized some freedom with my girls (now 11, 9 and 6). I can sit and watch them play versus running after them all the time.

While my children were intoxicated with water play, Mom and I talked about characters for our follow up to Depression Cookies. We know what we want to put our main characters through and how we want them to grow, but we can't sacrifice peripheral characters to accomplish our goals. After much discussion, we realized we had changed a semi-main character too much from our first book. It didn't make sense for that character, even though it moved along story.

Now, we need to go back and revamp a couple of chapters, but I feel jazzed and excited about the book again thanks to our conversation.

Onto my ROW80 update...

The brain fog is finally clearing. Just in time to plan my daughter's 10th birthday (2/7), my other daughter's Valentine's Day dance (2/10), and my birthday girl's slumber party (2/11), not to mention Valentine's Day fun (2/14, parties at schools and home events). It's all fun, but very distracting.

Writing: Let's call it planning. I only wrote about 900 words since Wednesday, but my head is swimming with ideas and plans. Plus, I learned something about myself during the last week of insanity... I am very productive at 6am in a quiet house. It's my own wordsprint. The alarm is already set for 6am tomorrow, and I've put tomorrow's #ROW80 #teamsprinty (2pm EST) in my calendar.

Dear Muse, I've cleared my schedule and made my plans. You've been enjoying a vacation thanks to my insanity, so please join me tomorrow for some exciting writing. Sincerely, Tia

Blogging: Daily here and once on Mom in Love with Fiction since Wednesday. I'm getting around to ROW80 blogs. Several of them have mentioned Story Engineering (just today, Kait Nolan mentioned it), so it'll be my next craft book after Dorothea Brande's Becoming a Writer (that one's been sitting by my bed way too long).

Reading: Going to start Becoming a Writer and pick back up The Book Thief.

Editing: Excited to return to it after a brain-packed week!

Exercise: Thanks to beautiful weather, I got outside to clear my brain and work my muscles a lot this past week. I need to get back to the gym. Unfortunately, we spent a weekend at Great Wolf Lodge... have you ever tried to eat healthy at a place like that?

Check out other ROW80 participants here.

How are my writer friends doing? With all the sickness going around lately, I hope my writer friends are healthy and ready to entertain their Muse.

Paying It Forward

Before Depression Cookies debuted in late 2010, I was a closet writer. Very few close friends and family members knew I was writing a book, much less that I had been a writer for years (mainly a business writer).

Marketing my own book forced me out in the open. I'm so glad it did. I've found the writing community to be welcoming and always willing to share.

To give back to a community that always gives so much to me, I like to pay it forward. Many authors have been instrumental in bringing me out of my shell. Two, ironically both named Melissa, have breaking news.

* WoMen's Literary Cafe, the literary site founded by Melissa Foster, has changed its name to World Literary Cafe. It's the same great site, full of many features: Free eBook Fridays; Author, Reader and Writer Forums; Beta Readers and Critique Groups; and so much more. Check it out here.

* Turning Point is available for FREE for a limited time on Amazon. It's a wonderful Young Adult novel by Melissa Luznicky Garrett. I reviewed it on my review blog here. An excerpt: If you are intrigued by dark characters and the unexpected, you will appreciate every turn of the page. Melissa’s ability to slowly reveal layer after layer of this family’s dark secret is impressive. Never once did I guess the series of events about to occur.

Check out the efforts of these lovely Melissas.

I love to expand my writing community and find new author friends... any good suggestions on where to hang out online?

Lessons Learned from Bingo

I survived chairing my first middle school event, a Family Fun Night with bingo and raffle prizes. It turned out beautifully, but I learned a thing or two.

* People take their Bingo seriously... who knew? I didn't. My husband was the designated, notice he did not volunteer but was designated, bingo caller. On one occasion, he messed up. I thought half the people attending were going to take him out.

* Friends make everything worthwhile... without good friends helping me, I would have been a mess. The same is true in my writing life now. There are some people I've never met that have gotten me through bad writing weeks. I'm so thankful for people who are willing to share and care.

* Kids love candy... I had gift certificates galore. Starbucks, ITunes, local restaurants. What did the kids constantly choose? The Costco candy bars or anything else with sugar. To my author friends, if you write Young Adult, consider wrapping an extra large Hershey's bar around your book. You'll be amazed by your increased sales.

* Sometimes you need luck... I don't care how many cards some people bought, time and time again I saw winners from one card. Sometimes, all it takes is some luck. You can plan and strategize all you want, but if Lady Luck is not smiling at you... she's smiling at someone else. I've read traditionally published books that aren't, well, good. And I wonder... how did that get published? The right person read it and loved it. That simple.

What I love most about taking on any new challenge... learning. As a writer, I like being in all situations. You never know where a story or inspiration may strike.

Where's the oddest place you were inspired?