May 14, 2012

Mothers, Daughters and Listening: Guest Post

Please welcome Kate from Teaching What is Good. I met Kate during last year's WordCount Blogathon and was immediately drawn to her. Her blog has become a must-read for me, and I am thrilled to have her here today.

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Mothers, Daughters and Listening

I have had the joy and privilege of getting to know Tia this past year through our meeting at Blogathon 2011. I have come to have a real delight in her life: her writing, her heart for her family and her faith in God. I am very excited to guest post on her blog today.

Being the mother of four daughters, I have often contemplated how to build a strong relationship with them. My #1 goal is for them to be strong in their faith and to walk mightily before the Lord and with grace, love and a passion for God.

Having that as a goal and seeing it come to fruition are two different things, though.

Over the years I’ve listened to older godly women, watched their lives and searched the scriptures. I have come to the conclusion that there is no formula, no perfect solution to raising daughters of integrity, honor and faith.

I have four very different daughters. Some are more open than others. Some are affectionate, some are verbal communicators. But all of them enjoy spending quality time with someone who loves them and wants to focus on their lives. I purposed to be that person!

  • I’ve tried to make time with each of the girls.
  • I’ve tried to find out how they communicate best and encourage that.
  • I’ve tried to be open and honest about my failures, fears and flaws (like I could hide them anyway).
  • I’ve tried to find out what they like to do and do that with them or make opportunities for them in it.
  • I’ve tried to make being with us at home fun and enjoyable.
  • I’ve tried to show a loving relationship with their dad.
  • I’ve tried to encourage and build strong sibling bonds and friendship (this has had success and failures at varying times in their lives).
It has always been a blessing to me that my children love to be with us when we talk. When we have company and several different conversations develop around the house, our girls get frustrated because they can’t be in all of them at the same time!

I spent time sharing topics from my mentoring. We discuss the biblical principles behind all of these problems and how to find what is wise counsel and what is worldly counsel.  Part of my training them in the “way they should go” has been to give them opportunities to respond to an issue and then go back to the scriptures with them for instruction and guidance.

It has been such a joy to me that as they’ve grown older, it has become easier to make that jump from Chain of Command (as the authority in their lives) to Chain of Counsel (as the one they seek out for advice) than I expected. I was always afraid it wouldn’t work, but when you spend years and years DIALOGUING rather than DICTATING, that dialogue continues into their teen and adult lives. Learning to listen to your daughters is one of the most worthwhile disciplines you can cultivate!

How can YOU grow in listening to your daughters? How can listening strengthen your relationship with them?

Kate Megill is a follower of Jesus, first and foremost. She is also a wife and homeschooling mom of 8 with a passion for older women teaching younger women in the manner of Titus 2:3-5. She blogs at Teaching What Is Good and shares her life, her faith, her family and encouragement to other women seeking to walk with God.
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Please take a moment and visit my post on Kate's blog today, Faith & Family: The Journey of Love.

3 comments:

The Wordsmith said...

A beautiful post - it's obvious that you love your daughters and strive to show them how much they are appreciated and valued as individuals. That's so important - I am a twin and my parents always made a point to treat me and my brother similarly, and never to play favorites.

Kathy Waller said...

"Learning to listen to your daughters is one of the most worthwhile disciplines you can cultivate!" Yes.

Tia Bach said...

Thanks for stopping by. I feel so honored that Kate guest posted here.