If I Knew Then What I Know Now: ROW80 Update

I would manage my expectations.

This is true in all aspects of my life. I am an over-achiever and set expectations high. Although I am hardest on myself, I tend to put high expectations on others as well. This isn't fair to them or me.

I believe I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. Same for my kids. I might even believe it more for them. But I forget to factor in life and all the things outside my control.

Today is a WordCount Blogathon theme day: If I started blogging today, I would...

Source

Follow a 3-4 Posts a Week Schedule
Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and the occasional weekend day (like ROW80 check in Sundays). Since I booted my blog with last year's Blogathon, I set the expectation of blogging daily. It's tough, and depletes a lot of my creative juices. I'm writing more than I ever have (bonus), but I want to focus on the two novels I'm working on.

Choose Blogs to Follow More Carefully
I know that doesn't sound nice, but... in the beginning, I followed every blog in a challenge and every blog of people who commented on my posts. It seemed the friendly thing to do. Unfortunately, I ended up with way too many blogs to read and another too-high expectation. There are a LOT of wonderful blogs out there, but I can't possibly read them all.

Write Posts Ahead
I've started to get better at this. I find fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants blogging stressful. My goal is to take a few hours twice a week to write the bulk of my posts.

Keep Posts Short and Sweet
I tend to pontificate (I even love that word!). My writing isn't necessarily wordy, but I have a lot to say. As a blog reader, I don't have time to read long posts... even if they are amazing. I'm learning now to break posts into multiple parts. Plus, it's a great way to post more often.

On that note, I think I'll listen to my own advice and wrap it up here. Short and sweet.

I'm looking forward to reading other Blogathon blogs today and picking up some tips.

If you started blogging today, what would you do differently? Or the same?

*****

Time for my Wednesday A Round of Words in 80 Days (ROW80) update:

Writing
I had an encouraging writing day on Monday with 956 words. It was a pivotal scene, so I was glad to get it done. Tuesday was my daughter's all-day first grade field trip, so no writing then.

Editing
Set aside two solid hours today for editing. I wanted this post done first, so I could focus.

Blogging
Every day and twice on Mom in Love with Fiction.

Social Media
Drowning a bit (see my tip above on blogs to follow). I'm drowning in great posts, so there are worse things! I've decided I can't possibly catch up overall, so I'm going to do better going forward (and catch up on a few favorites).

Reading
Just started a lighter read for some fun, Sarah Dessen's The Truth about Forever. I'm hoping for a Judy Blume-vibe. Speaking of Judy Blume, I was so honored to see a friend had pinned my book (on their Books Worth Reading in Pinterest), Depression Cookies, right next to Judy Blume's Are You There God It's Me Margaret. I am not worthy. *squeals*

Exercise
Kicking it. Doing much better on sugar consumption, too.

My goal is to visit 15 ROW80 blogs today! Here we go...

The ABCs of Me

I've seen this post on several blogs lately, and I wanted to give it a whirl.

(Okay, I was getting desperate at 10:27pm and needed a post for today, so bear with me.)

The ABCs of Me

Adaptable - Thanks to moving on average every 3 years my whole life, I'm nothing if not adaptable.

Bach - Tia Bach seems so short to me (see S below as to why), but I've been a Bach for 17 years and counting, so I'm growing quite fond of it.

Crazy Creative - I was just going to put creative, but the two are often tied together for me. I'm always crazed and it brings out the creative in me. I wouldn't know what to do with calm.

Depression Cookies - my first book and one I'm blessed to have co-written with my mother. (Notice the optimism in saying "first" here.)

Edward "Ed" - my hubby. I met him my third day of college and never looked back. Best decision I ever made.

Family - My family means the world to me. Not all the people I consider family are blood related (you know who you are, and the majority of you live in Colorado!). Friends are an important F to me, too.

Grateful - I am a very blessed woman. I know it, and try to pay it forward as much as possible.

Hungry - Pretty much always. I love food. And not the good-for-you kind of food, sadly. I'm all about comfort food.

Impatient - It's true. I'd rather be in motion than in limbo, so I tend to want to rush forward and act. And nothing strains my patience like a computer (or any electronics).

Jacqueline "Jackie" - my first born daughter. She paves the way and teaches me something new every day. She just turned 12, and I can't believe how fast it's gone.

Kind - I try to always be considerate of people's feelings. I constantly say to my kids, "If you can't say something kind, don't say anything." This has been shortened to, "Kind or nothing." When need be, I handle adversity the classic Southern gal way: Kill 'em with Kindness.

Loves to Laugh - And more than willing to laugh at myself. A day without laughter is a sad day indeed.

Madeleine "Maddie" - my baby girl. She's spirited and endearing. And even though I swore I'd never baby her, I do. She's just too darn cute. I named her Maddie after Maddie Hayes on Moonlighting, one of my favorite shows as a teen. (I so had a crush on Bruce Willis.)

Naughty - Get your mind out of the gutter. I just like to be a bit rotten with my children  (dancing around the house when they beg me not to, eating a pile of chocolate chips and telling them they can't, etc.).

Optimistic - Not about everything, but I try to believe the best in people. It takes quite a lot for a person to convince me not to believe in them. I like to say I'm optimistic, but practical. Some people will never change.

Passionate - When it comes to writing and family, I'm devoted. When I find something I love, I devote as much of myself as I can to it. My kids find it annoying now, but I hope they'll feel differently some day.

Questioning - To my husband's chagrin, I constantly question people's motives. Why people do what they do fascinates me. It's why I love creating characters.

Reagan - My middle daughter. I named her after the President as a tribute to my father (so her middle name is my dad's, Dallas). She looks like me and acts like her father. If you ever need to laugh, she's your girl (and she kicks butt as a Lacrosse goalie).

Silverthorne - My maiden name is Tia Cher (yes, Cher, like Sonny and...) Silverthorne.

Truthful - To a fault sometimes. I'd rather go down with honesty than in a web of lies. The only time I feel comfortable making up stories is when I'm writing fiction. I love that my name, TIA, stands for Truth in Advertising.

Unicorns - I collected them when I was young. Unfortunately, I ended up with a collection of three-legged unicorns and horses after too many poorly packed moving boxes.

Violet - One of my favorite colors. (V is hard, and I do love purples.)

Wishes - I wish throughout my day: at all the same number times (e.g., 1:11, 2:22, etc.) and on eyelashes. Eyelashes? Yes. If you have one of your eyelashes, you place it on the tip of your finger, close your eyes, make a wish, and blow. When you open your eyes, you will get your wish if the eyelash is gone.

Xi - I love Scrabble and have beaten many a foe with this must-know two letter word. Another great one is Qi. (I'm quite addicted to Words with Friends.)

Young at Heart - I turn 40 in August, but I still feel so young. I've decided age is a frame of mind and not just the counting of days on a calendar.

Zonked - Lately, I need more sleep. Glad I'm at Z, so I can Zzzzzzz. (And it's 11:25pm, so still in time for posting today!)

Now you know my ABCs
Next time won't you play with me!

Tell me something about yourself with a letter (any letter).

In Which I do Haiku

It's Haiku Day for the 2012 Wordcount Blogathon. I admire poets, but I don't consider myself one.

Last year, I chickened out and had my mom write the haiku. Not only do I got to her for most of life's challenges, but she is a published poet.

Haiku 2011 (by Mom)

Motherhood begins
No lessons or a manual
Just sheer off the cuff

Continuing with the sheer off the cuff theme, I thought I'd tackle some haiku today.

On Writing

Try to calm my soul
to touch the emotions there
and create story



My sweet muses

On Parenting

Every night I swear
I will be a better Mom
the very next day

On Being a Woman

Tears, fear, joy and pain
are only some of the things
I tackle each day

On Blogathon

Discover new blogs
cherish blogs from last year's fun
grow as a writer

That's it. That's all my brain can handle.

Now I'm off to see

what my fellow bloggers did

with the haiku day

The Smallest Things: ROW80 & #writemotivation Udpates

Sometimes the smallest things make me happy. Yesterday it was a magazine cover (if you missed it, please check out the men from Magic Mike here) and a book fair (more details on that this week).

Today, it was running across a friend's email with this picture...

Did you hear about this story?

Tim Tebow was quite the phenomenon during the Denver Broncos run in the playoffs this past winter. My friend's neighbor made this ice sculpture in Tim Tebow's honor and made Fox News: Tebow immortalized in snow sculpture. This was just a mile from where I used to live in Superior, Colorado.

Do you notice the small brown book on Tebow's arm?

Here's a closer look...

It's my book, Depression Cookies. What fun! Thanks, Shannon.

What was your last important small thing?

Now for Updates...

A Round of Words in 80 Days (ROW80)

Writing: I wrote 1,027 words on Friday on my YA book. Too bad it's the only day I wrote, but at least I added words. Saturday was spent at the Gaithersburg Book Festival. More to come on that later in the week. So. Much. Fun.

Editing: Two of my clients just received their galley copies. I'm so proud, and I'm excited for them! Now back to the short story collection (or so I'm trying to convince her!) and the YA paranormal (one I expect great things from).

Blogging: Daily. My post this week, Reviewing Without Prejudice, Can Honesty Turn on You?, was featured on BlogHer.

Reading: Just finished one book and about to finish another. Need to write two reviews. Still lagging on reading a craft book.

Social Media: I'm finding it increasingly difficult to visit new blogs. I already have so many I love, and there are only so many hours in the day. What to do. What to do.

Exercise: I should make this a separate goal from eating/sugar, because I am so proud of my exercise achievements but lagging on cutting out sugar. I'm especially proud that got up Saturday morning at 5:45am to run five miles before the book fair.

#writemotivation

1. Write a minimum of five days a week for a total of 2,500 words on my works in progress.
Wrote five days, thanks to blog posts, but only added in some capacity or another and added 1,027 to my YA novel. Mom just sent back chapters for me to answer on our Depression Cookies follow-up, so I'm hoping for busy writing days this week.

2. Get current novel, Depression Cookies, up on Smashwords by month's end.
No progress. Still hoping.

3. Read a book every 10 days, plus at least one craft book in the month of May.
Finished one book and almost done with another. Ahead of goal.

Finding Happiness: Mail and a Fair

I quite often find happiness in a mailbox. Since I was a kid, I've always loved receiving letters and cards. Now, with the digital age, I enjoy anything that's not a bill.

Yesterday, receiving the newest Entertainment Weekly magazine made me very happy. This picture alone had me sending in my renewal check.

Although not usually a salivate-over-actors type, I just don't see anything to complain about with this cover. Wait, three of the men do have shirts on, but I think I'll survive.

I'm especially loving Matthew McConaughey. Matthew, you had me at a Time to Kill, and I'm thrilled that you continue to smolder. Take that Kevin Costner, Tom Cruise, and the one that truly saddens me... Val Kilmer.

A special thanks to Entertainment Weekly. Unlike TIME, you know how to market a magazine in a way that doesn't offend or belittle anyone. (Which might be why you left some of the guys' shirts on.) Check out my post, You ARE Mom Enough, for more of my feelings on TIME.

In other exciting news, I will be spending TODAY at the Gaithersburg Book Festival for the second year in a row. I'll be at the Carroll County Maryland Writers' Association booth (10:00am to 6:00pm EST, in case you are in town and considering coming!) selling copies of Depression Cookies and supporting my fellow-MWAers.

But what I'm most excited about...

Meeting Melissa Foster!

I have met some amazing authors online, but rarely do I get the opportunity to meet them face to face. Melissa is an international best-selling author, and a wonderful supporter of writers and readers. She spearheads World Literary Cafe, "where readers and authors unite." This in addition to The Women's Nest, "a community of women helping women."

Related post: Come Back to Me, Melissa Foster (5 stars)

I'll also get to see another wonderful author, and friend of our family, M.K. Graff. She has a new book out, so I'm looking forward to getting my hands on that, too. Marni also sent me a wonderful post about Pacing that I'll feature next week.

Relate post: The Blue Virgin, MK Graff (4 stars)

Please visit next week for my update. Be forewarned... I might be gushing.

What brought some excitement to your life this week?

No Dirty Dishes Day Sparks Wishes for More Special Days

Yes, another wonderful special holiday. I've said it time and time again, I would like to be on the committee to choose these special holidays.

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No Dirty Dishes Day is a great idea! Clearly this means my family must go out to eat for dinner. For breakfast, it's a Pop Tart and juice box (can't mess up any dishes), lunch will be at school, and finally dinner out. And Mama's choice, of course. I'm pretty sure I read that in the rules.

I hereby put the following dates out there for consideration:

Command the Muses Day
This day would be November 1 to correspond with National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). All writers could command the muse to stay front and center for the month. This day would be dedicated to wine, to summon the Muse. Other arts could make their own Command the Muses Day consistent with big art shows, etc.

No Whine Day
This is the Mom side of me taking over. I think I need this daily, but that wouldn't qualify. So I'm thinking the first of every month. This would give me a day to recuperate from the previous month's whining. No need to be a parent to participate, I'm sure everybody knows a person who whines.

"Yes, Mom/Dad" Day
The perfect accompaniment to No Whine Day, but let's spread the love and have this be December 14. Just close enough to the holiday gift giving season to give the kids a REAL reason to follow along.

Politicians Must Get Along Day
Any day. If we could get the idea to stick, who knows what wonderful strides we could make in this country. This is probably asking for too much, so I will settle for My Kids Get Along Day.

Finally, my husband offerred...

No Talking Day
This was after a particularly long story from our seven-year-old daughter, but I have a feeling he thinks men with no children will benefit as well. My guess is that he'd pick Feburary 13, so that the men were in a better mood for Valentine's Day the next day.

What day would you add to the calendar? Sky's the limit!

Reviewing Without Prejudice: Can Honesty Turn on You?

Homosexuality. It’s my generation’s civil rights movement, and it affected my life recently in an interesting way.

I review books for World Literary Café as part of their WLC Review Team. Every month, I choose four books from their selections and receive two to review. Since I pride myself on reading all genres and styles, I choose books based only on the covers. Could I go look up summaries? Sure. But I wanted to experiment with picking books solely based on my reaction to cover art.

Last month, I received a complimentary copy of Sunset, Pact Arcanum: Book 1 to review (you can see my review at Mom in Love with Fiction). I did not know it was a homoerotic book until I started reading. The whole book I was nervous about writing the review. I’ve never felt that way before.

I wanted to treat this book like any other, but the truth… I read it in fear. There was no way to write an honest review without mention of the homosexual theme. What if I didn’t like the book? Would I just be labeled homophobic?

In the end, the book was a good, but not great, read. I have never hesitated so much in pushing the Publish button on a post. An excerpt:

Let me also address the white elephant in the room. Prior to this book, I had never read a novel with detailed homosexual love scenes. While a bit uncomfortable for me, and I would say this about overly detailed heterosexual love scenes, they provided a much-needed look into the character of Nick Jameson. His male relationships, and gradual maturation process from sleeping around to finding love, is crucial to the story.

Although I admired the story (and world) the author creates, the constant jumping around in time and the details about the vampire/Sentinel society became overwhelming. I felt bogged down reading it. About halfway through, with my brain packed to capacity, the book started really moving. From that point on, it was a great read full of twists and turns and anxious excitement.

I am proud to be a Christian, and in no way attempt to hide it. In the battle over homosexual rights, being a Christian labels you as intolerant and unkind. Two things I am most definitely not. I believe my faith teaches me to love everyone. We are all sinners, and I will not be the one that judges which sins are more offensive than others or who gets to go to Heaven. It’s simply not my call to make.

However, it's a shame that I can’t be honest about a book without fear that I will be labeled. This country is built on opinions, and the right to express them. Reviewing a homoerotic book should be like any other review. If I love it, I love it. If I don’t, I shouldn’t have to tip toe around it for fear I’ll be labeled homophobic. The same can be said for reading a book by an African American author. If I don’t like it, I shouldn’t fear being called a racist.

I’ve said time and time again that I prefer women characters and women authors for the most part. I’m never afraid of being called sexist, because I’m female. So can only the minority disagree with the majority without fear of judgment?

I do not in any way choose unkindness in my life. The thought that my actions or words would ever hurt someone is upsetting. But, I also shouldn’t fear honesty, another character trait I place a lot of value on.

Am I making too much of this?