Rerun: My Butt Hurts When I Write

Last Thursday, I wrote a post about truths. One of them was that humor is a salve. So it seemed appropriate to rerun the following post (I'm on vacation out of the country).

Enjoy!

 Daughter #3 finally has me to herself for a fifteen minute car ride. 

"Mom," she says with a nice long pause for effect, "my butt hurts when I write."

My favorite DD#3 pic

My kids often come to me for writing-related questions. Me or I is a favorite topic of conversation as is any verb paired with have. But, this one had me for a second.

I start with a simple question. "Did it happen today?"

"Yes. At school."

It was starting to come together. We had been really working on her writing all year. I even started a second grade writing club that met at my house every Tuesday after school. My baby was finally loving writing so much that she actually was sitting still too long enjoying it. 

"I'm so sorry your butt hurts when you write, honey. You should take a break every now and again and move around and then go back to writing." Such a proud Mama moment.

Until...

"Mom!" You can imagine it, right? A long and drawn-out Mom--a one syllable word made into three or four. "I said, "My butt hurts when I wipe!"

Simple Truths -- Celebrating Canary by Rachele Alpine

My friend and fellow writer, Rachele Alpine is celebrating her book, Canary, and it’s release by blogging as her main character in real-time at www.allmytruths.com. You can read more about Rachele here and about Canary here.
 
Rachele also put out the call for other friends/authors/bloggers to join her in blogging about their truths. So today I share with you my truths.

I am a Writer
First, it feels amazing to say that. I write therefore I am, if you will. I've been told it's simply a hobby, but it's so much more than that. It's a business, yes, but it's also part of what makes me who I am. Even if I never find myself on a New York Times bestseller list or my bank account never sees Stephen King-like royalties.

Kindness Trumps Selfishness In the End
This is where my "truth" may be different from others, but I truly believe this statement. In the end, selfishness and nastiness may get some people what they want. But the price can be steep. I want to leave this world and have people say I was kind and generous.

Life is Short
It's a sad truth, but a truth nonetheless. Once you embrace it, and we all have trouble with this at times, you can live each day to its fullest. I strive to do that.

Love Conquers
It may not conquer all, but it conquers many things. Love is hard work, another sad truth--it's not a constant fairy tale, but it's what makes the world go round. If we would all just love, simply appreciate what's good about others, this world would be a better place. And I'll take love (and kindness, see above) over judgment and loneliness any day. 

Humor is a Salve
This year has been insane for me and my family. When we were at our most stressed, we'd find something to laugh about. Laughter is medicine. It's not always easy to find the humor in everyday life, but it's imperative.

"All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered;
the point is to discover them." Galileo Galilei

Congratulations to Rachele on the release of Canary.

What is one of your truths?

Some information...

Staying quiet will destroy her, but speaking up will destroy everyone.

Kate Franklin’s life changes for the better when her dad lands a job at Beacon Prep, an elite private school with one of the best basketball teams in the state. She begins to date a player on the team and quickly gets caught up in a world of idolatry and entitlement, learning that there are perks to being an athlete.

But those perks also come with a price. Another player takes his power too far and Kate is assaulted at a party. Although she knows she should speak out, her dad’s vehemently against it and so, like a canary sent into a mine to test toxicity levels and protect miners, Kate alone breathes the poisonous secrets to protect her dad and the team. The world that Kate was once welcomed into is now her worst enemy, and she must decide whether to stay silent or expose the corruption, destroying her father’s career and bringing down a town’s heroes.

"A searing and tender portrait of the complexities of high school friendships, dating and privilege. CANARY is a testament to the power of hard-won truths."
~Daisy Whitney, author of THE MOCKINGBIRDS and WHEN YOU WERE HERE

"The subtle way Rachele Alpine addresses love, loss, popularity, and friendship makes this book a realistic and arresting read. For anyone who ever struggled with frenemies and fitting in, CANARY is an important addition to contemporary YA discussions."
~Jennifer Brown, author of THE HATE LIST

Veracity = V: Blogging from A to Z

Not only did Mom and I co-author Depression Cookies, but she's a frequent guest here. She's the reason I love writing and reading, and I credit her with so much of who I am.

But, I wanted to use V to talk about Dad. Both my parents are super-honest people, but Dad was the one who really drove the importance of veracity ("devotion to the truth") home. We are all human, and we all lie on occasion. Yet, I try with every fiber of my being to be honest and truthful with people.

However, that doesn't mean I am compelled to go spouting my truth to anyone who will listen. As Dad often said, "I try not to ever lie, but that doesn't mean I go blabbing the truth."

Plus, there's an important element to truth that we should all consider: my truth may not be yours. I may strongly believe in something, hold it as truth in my heart, but that does not mean someone else believes the same. Truth is in the mind of the beholder, and it's easy to manipulate or evade. Not to mention, if you lie to yourself long enough, doesn't it become your truth?

Growing up, my dad often said:

You have the audacity
to doubt my veracity
to insinuate
that I might prevaricate.

Few things insult me more than someone telling me I'm lying, particularly my children. I tell them they can always expect the truth from me. Then my daughter pointed out the "Santa lie" as proof that I don't. I really had to ponder that one.

So, now I'm even more honest with my children. I tell them I will always do what I think is in their best interest, and will always give them direct and honest answers to their questions. Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter bunny fall into the "don't go blabbing the truth" idea.

To further complicate veracity, I think little white lies that protect people's feelings are justified. ("No, you don't look fat in that dress.")

So after all this talk about being devoted to the truth, I sure seem to have come up with many exceptions to the rule.

What does veracity mean to you?

Truth is in the Mind of the Beholder

Yesterday's BlogHer NaBloPoMo prompt intrigued me: Would you rather always know the truth or remain blissfully ignorant sometimes?

My thick skin can handle anything, so of course I would prefer to know everything. Please tell me every time I do something you don't like, every time I wear something that makes me unattractive, and every time I write something you think is awful. Oh, and a special request of my three daughters... please, oh please, tell me every single time you are upset because I made you clean your room, brush your teeth, or--God forbid--take a shower.

Life is only worth living if you know every detail about all subjects.

Alright, I'll let you all off the hook. I'm lying.

The problem with the truth... it's in the mind of the beholder. What is truth? I know way too many people who lie and have the ability to convince everyone around them, and even themselves, that it's the truth. That's not the kind of truth I need in my life.

I love my children more than my own life, but I hear way too many of their truths lately!

However, as much as I'd like to embrace the idea of blissful ignorance, it's only blissful if nobody gets hurt. As a mother, it's irresponsible for me to close my eyes and pretend not to see the truths that affect my children.

And here's some advice... if you don't prefer the truth, an honest raw opinion, please don't ask me. Don't put in the position to lie. We are all human, we lie from time to time. But I truly try not to, so please don't make me weigh lying with being kind or understanding. It makes me conflicted and, quite frankly, cranky. If you are questioning how you look in the dress, for example, you probably have your answer. 

One last thought... as a writer, I prefer truth. Being blissfully unaware doesn't do much for my ability to build characters people can relate to.

The tougher question: would you rather always know the truth or always be blissfully unaware?

Actually, that one's easier. If it's always... give me truth!