Being Passed is Not Failure: ROW80

Yesterday was a gorgeous day here in Northern California. A perfect run day--nice breeze, about 70 degrees, sun shining. Exercise is a stress-reliever, and it frees my creative mind. So I set out for my five miles.

Three people passed me. It frustrated me, so I ran faster. Struggling to keep up, I never considered that I didn't have to go faster just because somebody else was. Had I counted the people I had passed? Did I look down to see how my pace stood up against my goal?

No.

I only noticed those that passed me. And I ran faster than I should have gone, and I ended up feeling defeated.

I didn't make note that I ran one mile much faster than I normally would. (Success)

I didn't notice the people I passed. (Success)

I didn't give myself credit for running five miles. (Success)

Instead, I came home feeling like a failure. As I was kicking myself, realization slowly dawned.

My success should be based on my goals and abilities, not others.

I feel the need to say that last sentence over and over again.

The same is true of my writing. I bemoaned my failures for most of Round 3.of A Round of Words in 80 Days (ROW80). Yet I had a successful blog tour with many wonderful reviews, sales for Chasing Memories have surpassed my first book in the same timeframe, I wrote about 15 guest post blogs this month, I increased my Facebook page likes from the 300 range to almost 900, I edited a wonderful book, and so on.

Confession: I had to sit here and really think about my successes for the round, but I could have rattled off what I didn't get done without hesitation.

There will always be someone who writes more books, sells more books, writes more words per day, runs faster, has kids who appear more well behaved, has the perfect husband (okay, that might be pushing it).

For Round 4, and beyond, I am going to set goals that will make me feel successful and stop comparing myself to everyone else. Because for all I know, the author who is sitting at number three on the New York Times bestsellers list is bemoaning the two people ahead of him/her.

How do you stay focused on your goals and achievements and stop comparing yourself to others?

Scattered: ROW80 Update

"It is a process of diverting one's scattered forces into one powerful channel." James Allen

Scattered is a state I often find myself in lately. Round 3 has been a cacophony of things to do sounding off in my head, rising to a piercing scream that renders me utterly useless.

Am I making any sense?

I barely make sense to myself these days.

Even if I can manage to set aside all the to-dos surrounding my personal life, I am overwhelmed with all the things I want to do for my author life.

A small list:

• Research for Chasing Memories Book 2
• Writing Chasing Memories Book 2
• Depression Cookies to Smashwords
• Create a Website for Tia Bach, Author
• Marketing Materials for Chasing Memories
• Finish Depression Cookies Book 2 (already 40K in)
• Author Platform Work
• Social Media Obligations

I know I'm supposed to break it down into manageable parts and writing should come first. But I find the more scattered my brain is, the harder it is for me to focus my creative energies.

So, I tend to jump to the thing I can finish quickly... a blog post, an editing project. Anything that satisfies my intense need to accomplish something. Anything that fulfills the desire to mark a project done.

The best writing I've done in the last year was NaNo, because I felt focused. I was NOT going to lose a challenge.

Now, how do I motivate myself to accumulate words and squelch the scattered voices in my head?

Colder Than A Witch's Tit & Other Sayings

It's time for more word fun!

I love a good saying, one that you use all the time and really don't know why. Recently, I did a post on just those type of sayings: Bat Out of Hell and Other Phrases.

Then I saw the lovely Julie Glover's post this week on Summer Sayings, and I felt inspired to do round 2.

Mind Your Ps and Qs

I say this to my kids all the time, to suggest to them to follow the rules. Researching this was fun, because there were several theories on the origin of this saying.

As a mom, I was most drawn to the theory that it is simply referring to kids distinguishing between writing a p and a q (mirror images of each other, just like b and d). But the one I've heard most often is mind your pints and quarts--a reference to bartenders, supposedly in British pubs, watching how they fill the customers' drinks. (source)

Public Domain

Colder Than A Witch's Tit/Teat

This saying as an expression of brutal cold has always given me pause. Why a witch? Then I found this intriguing explanation, so interesting that I didn't even want to summarize. From The Phrase Finder:

The simple explanation is that "colder than a witch's tit" is just a vivid metaphor, like "hotter than the hinges of hell." Since a witch is in league with Satan, presumably she has no maternal feelings. Thus the medium by which she would suckle a child is,
well, cold as a witch's tit.

But there's some history behind this wisecrack. A witch's tit (or witch's teat, to use the older spelling) supposedly left a marking that witch hunters and courts would look for on the body of an accused person. Supposedly, witches would suckle their familiars, and sometimes the Devil himself, from this "unholy" body part. To find these marks, as well as insensitive spots on the skin called devil's marks--caused by the Devil's claws or teeth--the suspects were stripped, shaven, then closely examined for any blemishes, moles, or even scars that could be labeled as diabolical. To find marks invisible to the eye, the examiner would poke the victim inch by inch with a blunt needle (called a bodkin) until they found a spot that didn't feel pain or bled. Discovery of these marks or spots--one supposes they would be considered cold since they were a sign of communion with the Devil--would be "proof" of the person's dealings with Scratch, so they would be shown in full court before the execution.

Am I the only one who wants to write a book titled Witch's Tit right now?

And I always like to end these posts with one of my dad's sayings since he is the reason I am so infatuated with the language (and he's full of them). Whenever Dad thought you'd stepped over the line from arguing to intruding, he'd say, "Now you've gone from preaching to meddlin'."

Different Standards Apply: Indie Life & ROW80

It's hump day, and my first time posting as part of Indie Life.

What is Indie Life?
How: Sign up on the Linky at the bottom of this page
When: Post on the second Wednesday of the month (starting 1/9/2013)
What: Write anything indie related: something that will inspire or help a fellow indie; something that celebrates a release or a milestone; something that talks about the ups and downs, joys and heartaches of Being Indie.
Grab: The banner to include in your posts!

First, I am so proud to be an indie author. There are so many advantages to independent publishing: control, speed, quality, and community to name just a few.

People's perceptions of indie publishing have greatly improved in the last few years, especially with some big indie names making it to the New York Times bestseller lists. 

Still, I find many readers hold indie books to a higher standard. For instance, if an indie book has a few grammatical or punctuation errors, reviewers will often take them to task for poor editing. But, I find a few mistakes in most traditionally published books and reviewers rarely make note of them.

Lesson: Have your book professionally edited. 

Indie book covers are expected to have a wow factor these days, and at the very least should look professional. Yet, I find more and more traditionally published books are low-key--think the Beautiful Creatures series, the Hunger Games series, and the Twilight series before those.

Lesson: Do some research on your genre and book covers and take the time to produce a quality, and eye-catching, cover.

These are just the first two examples that popped into my brain. As indies, we have to put out a high quality product o build reader confidence. Since we don't have a publishing house behind us, we need to be behind each other... constantly building readers' trust in the indie industry.

One of the best parts of being an indie is the amazing writing community out there. Build your network and support other indies. You should never feel alone. Again, the more we do to support each other, the more we build faith in indie authors and their products.

And if you need further proof that indies rock, please check out the Indie-Credible event going on all month long. Visit my post for dates and author visits. Oh, and to see indies actually rocking out, check out the Indie-Credible video here.

Check out other Indie Life posts here.

*****

Wednesdays are also A Round of Words in 80 Days (ROW80) check-in days.

My goal for the rest of the round is to stick to a writing first schedule. I hope to have this so firmly in place that I can set a daily word count goal for Round 4 which starts October 7. I'm also focusing on research. Finally caught up with my sponsor duties. Planning to visit and comment on at least 15 blogs before the next check-in and to visit twice that many Indie Life blogs from today.

Courting the Muse: ROW80

Last Wednesday, I wrote a post detailing my difficulties inspiring my muse on Book 2 of the Tala Prophecy trilogy: Fear of the Blank Page.

Fortunately, I have some amazing author and blogger friends who offered some amazing advice to kickstart my writing. Jo Michaels, my editor and all-around giving author, had a great post last week to help writers overcome the slow days: Writing Prompts and Exercises. Sometimes, you have to step away from your book and just get the writing juices flowing. Creativity begets creativity.

In addition, Jo re-shared a post from earlier this year: When the Muse Steps Out of the Room. It contains simple, yet highly effective, tools to lure your muse back.

Thanks to all the advice and Jo's articles, my muse visited several times last week. Even more exciting, I stuck to a real writing schedule--my only goal right now for A Round of Words in 80 Days (ROW80). I'm a bit behind on sponsor posts, but I will make up for lost time tomorrow. But, only after I write.

Also, I've decided the best way for me to prep Book 2 is to re-read Chasing Memories and take detailed notes to 1) avoid any inconsistencies and 2) to get re-energized about the story.

Some news...

Today, I'm over at BookKraze visiting the lovely Coco White for the IndieCredible event. Stop by my post to find out what traits irritate me in female characters. And for fun, what traits most irritate you in a main female character (no matter what genre)?

While you are there, enter to win an eReader of choice (and remaining funds on a gift card). If you'd like to see a schedule of authors for the month-long Indie-Credible event, please visit my post here.

Oh, and for those of you who participate in the Insecure Writer's Support Group (#IWSG) or simply read my insecurities here, Alex J. Cavanaugh is launching (with some writer buddies) the Insecure Writer's Support Group website, hopefully in October. Find out more about it here.

Wow, it's hard to believe but Round 3 of #ROW80 ends in just a few weeks and Round 4 starts October 7. Hope everyone is rocking the end of the round.

Banning is for Bullies

I don't like censorship. We live in a country where we have the individual power, and responsibility, to determine what is and is not good for our families and to exercise one of our most influential controls--that of being the consumer.

If something offends you, don't buy it or allow it to be in your home to influence your children. I realize we can't protect our children all of the time (they will see things at school, at friends' houses, at sports), but censorship is a very slippery slope. A dangerous one.

After Miley Cyrus twerked her way into the national spotlight at the MTV Music Awards, everyone had an opinion about the spectacle. I sadly see it for what it is, a sad cry for attention. At the end of the day, everyone talking about it is what she wanted. She won. But, what I found funny was how the image and video of her shenanigans went viral. You couldn't look at Facebook the next day without seeing her bent over or with her tongue out. Not the images I want to see. But Facebook did nothing to stop it, not that I would want them to.

However, Facebook has made many women angry by taking down several posted images of women breastfeeding their children*. No nipple was shown (hello, the baby has that part covered). Really, Facebook, you are more worried about people being offended by a woman feeding her child than by what I had to see Miley Cyrus doing?!

Again, if you don't want to see breastfeeding images, either unfriend (is that a word?) the person or quickly scroll past. You have the power.

Public Domain Image

When it comes to books, nothing makes me angrier than censorship. Did Footloose teach us nothing? *winks and smiles* I have read several erotica books lately for reviews. No, it's not necessarily my thing, but I hate that so many sites don't review those books. I can skim over the blush-inducing parts, and I've been pleasantly surprised by how much depth of emotion and complicated characters I've discovered in these books.

If you find a book offensive, don't buy it. If enough people find it offensive and exercise their consumer rights, the book won't sell. Problem solved.

And for those who think only extremely offensive books are ever targeted, I wanted to show a sampling of books that have been banned in the US at one time or another (source):

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
Blubber by Judy Blume
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Canterbury Tales by Chaucer
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
East of Eden by John Steinbeck
Forever by Judy Blume
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Prizoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling
Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare

I have read many of the above and most are considered classics. (Judy Blume may not be in the classics category for scholarly types, but she is for me!) Can you imagine life without these titles, and many more, just because some people found them offensive? Heck, I bet the vast majority of paranormal fiction would be eradicated for propagating evil.

At the end of the day, I think banning is for bullies. It's a way for people to try and force their opinion on others. And I don't like it.

All that being said, there are certainly extreme examples. Child pornography is vile, and nothing about it should be tolerated. Children should be protected at all costs. If an adult wants to film a porno, I feel sad for them, but it is their choice. Images sexualizing children should not be tolerated and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. And any book that glorifies child pornography or has any images of it should not be sold. Period. Although, I guess we could have a whole day discussion on how to define "sexualizing children."

But I'm open-minded. Is there a time and place for censoring books?

* Note; Facebook clarified that it made mistakes when taking down some breastfeeding images and "Facebook is glad that mothers and their families – including many who work at Facebook – use our site to share their parenting experiences, including breastfeeding their children. By uploading photos, joining groups, and engaging with different organizations, these families are able to share and connect on a very important topic, and we are thrilled they are using Facebook to do so." (source)

Fear of the Blank Page: #IWSG & #ROW80

It's the first Wednesday of the month and time for my Insecure Writer's Support Group post. But not only is it the first Wednesday of the month, it is the second anniversary of this amazing group. *throws confetti*

A little birdie tells me that the awesome creator of #IWSG, Alex J. Cavanaugh, has something up his sleeve to take this group to the next level. So if you need support and some new writer buddies, please join us!

For me, I appreciate the opportunity to share my insecurities on the #IWSG therapy couch and to read how others are doing. Every month I'm inspired in some way to keep on keeping on.

So let me get comfortable on the couch. Okay, here goes...

I've decided that nothing stunts my writing more than pulling out my laptop and staring at the blank page.

Why is it so hard to get out of the gate?

Once I write the first few pages, the words start flowing like water from a busted dam. If I can re-read a little bit of the story, the rest of it flows.

It's the curse of a pantser. If I try to plot, I end up with a lot of question marks on a page and scribbles and arrows and crossed-out ideas. But if I can just get those first ten pages secured, I'm home free.

I've done most of the research for Chasing Memories Book 2 and jotted down storyline ideas. But they come to me at the worst times, always have. Because of this I keep a notebook and pen in my purse and car at all times. This past Sunday, inspiration hit while my family and I took a train into San Francisco. Thirty minutes later, I had pages of notes, scribbles, question marks, crossed out... but I was excited.

So today I sat at the laptop... and froze.

I can't stand to waste time, so after 15 minutes of nothing I moved on to more research and other pressing to dos (editing projects, guest posts, interviews).

So, my dear writer friends, some advice please... how do I jumpstart writing this book?

Oh, one more annoying fact about my process: I prefer to write linearly. So I get really hung up on the beginning. In the dictionary a la Tia, pressure = beginnings and endings.

*****

A Round of Words in 80 Days (ROW80)* Update

My only goal for the next two weeks is to initiate and stick to a writing schedule. Today, my schedule was off, but I did set aside writing time. Unfortunately, I sat and looked at a blank page until I couldn't stand it any longer. I did get some research done and several pages of editing on two different novels. But I want a different kind of progress. *sigh*

Also, I'm very excited to be part of the Indie-Credible event going on all-month long. In addition to highlighting some great indie authors, there's an amazing giveaway: an eReader of the winner's choice with the remainder on a gift card. Find out more here.

The Chasing Memories blog tour wraps up this week, and I will share what I learned from a month of reviews, interviews, and guest posts next week.

*another amazing group of writers for those of you looking for support, encouragement, and camaraderie.