Writing is a Highway: Rerun Saturday

Thanks to a social media break to visit relatives for Thanksgiving, I am doing a Rerun Saturday by rerunning a past blog post. Since I know I'll be fighting DC traffic (update: a normal five and a half hour drive took just over seven thanks to it today), this blog post seemed appropriate.

Hope everyone enjoyed family and blessings this Thanksgiving.

*****

originally posted 7/28/11

I hate traffic, unless it's blog traffic. Unfortunately, I live near the nation's Capitol. Traffic abounds. Every time I get stuck in it I go tense and joke about losing minutes off my life. Nothing about aggression, congestion, and speed goes with driving vehicles in my book.

Don't worry. This isn't a post ranting about traffic. Instead, while I was stuck in it today, I realized how much like writing it is. Sometimes there's flow and all the structure put into place keeps things moving. Other times no matter how well-prepared a writer is, you just sit. Nothing happens.

Traffic equals chaos to me, and I prefer order (and manners!). Same for my writing. I like the words to follow the plan. I am learning to appreciate some organized chaos. If the words are flowing too fast, I type faster. But if chaos outpaces order for long, I lose focus and productivity.

Patience, perseverance, and problem-solving are required in traffic and writing. Writer's block is my writing traffic. I don't have patience with it. I've learned the best medicine is writing, even if it's a blog post, and reading. The more I persevere, the better it flows. Characters block me out sometimes; they throw me problems I wasn't expecting in my story. Usually the character wins.

Today I was impatient to be home and complete my blog post. Blame D.C.-area traffic for this long analogy. All I could think about was frustration. I felt the same way last night staring at a blank screen. I made time to write, wanted to write, but the writing wasn't working. I was at a standstill.

I sat and waited. Nothing. I realized I couldn't force it, those cars weren't moving. I picked up a book and read. Fifty pages in, an idea sparked. I put the book down, opened the laptop. The words came slowly at first, but the scene started developing. It wasn't the way I wanted to get to my destination, but I did get there.

How do you deal with roadblocks?

Death, DC Traffic, and Public Speaking

Dancing on national television definitely describes my definition of fear. In addition to not being gifted with dancing feet, I am terrified to speak in public, much less perform. Not the greatest fear to have as a published author.

Speaking in small groups, twenty or less, I can do. It feels personal. It's a whole different matter if I have to stand up front. To combat my shaking hands, I'm a walker. I'll pace back and forth while I speak. But this does nothing to squelch nervous energy. God forbid there's a podium, and I'm expected to deliver a speech. Off the cuff is fine, delivering a speech feels like performing. My hands shake so bad, each time I turn a page of my speech the page does its own kind of dance.

Yet, I don't give into this fear. I've spoken to larger and larger groups since Depression Cookies came out. I'd love to say it gets easier. I can't. Nausea still rises and the hands still shake. But I have gained confidence that I won't die. It's progress.

My biggest fear... losing people I care about. I'm very fortunate so far, because my parents are both living (and youngsters in their early 60's). I loved my grandparents, but we only saw them once a year my whole life. I was sad when they passed, but more for my parent's loss than my own. I can't imagine the day I lose one of my parents, sisters, husband, or the unthinkable... one of my children. Sadly, this fear is one I will have to face and overcome some day. But in no way do I look forward to it.

I'm also terrified of DC traffic. I grew up in small towns. Rush hour occurred only during major town events or high school football games. I do not drive on the beltway if I can help it. I would need to take an aggressive driving course to have a fighting chance. It amazes me. Do people not get it? Frustrated drivers weaving in and out, going over the speed limit, are responsible for an object that can kill people. A frustrated, impatient person waving a gun would be arrested. Drivers, rarely. I face this fear only when there's no other way. I carry precious cargo in my car, and I can't drive safely enough to counteract the insanity.

Someday, if I'm ever so fortunate, I'll have a career-changing speech in Washington, DC requiring me to drive the beltway in rush hour. I'll do it, but I'll need a friendly doctor to take pity and prescribe Valium. Lots of it.

What are you afraid of? How do you overcome it?