The first Wednesday of each month is the perfect opportunity to share my insecurities on the #IWSG therapy couch, get encouragement and support about such insecurities, and to read how other writers are faring.
Wow. It's 2015!
Thanks to a Christmas-Eve release of Fractured Glass, I now have four published books. I hope to increase that to six by June of this year.
My writing confidence has grown in the last year. Don't get me wrong... I still have those moments when I'm staring at the screen and wondering what the Hell I'm doing, but those moments seem to be fewer and farther between.
Now, if I could only build my marketing confidence.
I've done a lot of soul searching since I turned 40. I don't know why, but I seem to over-analyze everything about my life since then (August 2012). My whole life I moved, and I was a character with an ever-changing role. I adapted to fit in. I've continued to move about every two to three years even as an adult.
Then, at 40, I woke up (after yet another move) and realized why I felt so uncomfortable at marketing. As authors, we--at least in part--have to sell ourselves. I'm still figuring out what that means. The more I'm around other authors--UtopYA was a life-changing experience for me--the more I realize who I am and who I want to be. I am finding my authentic self. (Thank God it's never too late!).
But, it's hard. I don't want to "try too hard" or create another persona.
One thing I've definitely learned... to find yourself, you have to stop making everyone else happy. That's all I've ever done. Writing is the first time I really stepped outside of others' wants and did something for myself. It's scary.
During this journey, I've often felt more like hiding than shouting my successes or achievements at the top of my lungs. It leaves me feeling raw and vulnerable.
Any suggestions for marketing that feels a bit less exposed? I'm feeling rather protective of my fragile state right now. I've made a lot of progress to self-discovery, and I don't want to slide back down the mountain, so to speak.
For now, I'm climbing and gaining confidence as I go. I'm getting to define who I want to be. Really, when you think about it, as scary as it is, how awesome is that? Once I get to the top, I think shouting will be no problem, because I will be so thrilled to be there. Until then, I'm being good to myself while pushing harder than I ever have.
Here's to an awesome year of self-discovery! *raises wine glass*